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How many thousand marriages have ended disastrously because women expected they could change their men!

The tally amongst my own four children so far: Divorce because of domestic violence and gambling, Separation because of incompatibility; Divorce because their spouse turned out to be emotionally unstable; Separation because their spouse had a severe personality disorder, and refused to take the prescribed medicine; Separation because of money being used as a means of manipulative control, and because of unrealistic expectations; Separation because of apprehended violence, manipulation and gambling. To me, the rough road represented life with Christ but without Bob. I guess I was treating marriage like a two-legged stool (just Bob and I) and expecting it to stand up! Here are some issues I now know I should have considered or that I would have had to consider if I were to marry in this present era.

The good road represented life with Bob, (whom I could see and touch), but without having to put Christ first in my life. And speaking of the children, will your husband agree with your sending them to Sunday School, taking them to church, taking part in whatever rites your church practices; or will he say that children should not be brain-washed with religion, but should be allowed to wait until they are adult, and can then make up their own minds?

If you going through a time when youre not on speaking terms with God, how will you explain to your husband why you are down in the dumps, and dont feel like talking?

Having decided we are going to spend Eternity with Jesus, we need to be VERY selective about with whom we choose to share our earthly life. In Genesis God Himself said: Your own wish list may include factors such as tall, good-looking, own home and car, secure job, similar cultural background, non-drinker/smoker/gambler, kind to animals, sense of humor etc. Because they were christened or confirmed at a certain age, or walked down the aisle and signed a decision card, that doesnt necessarily mean that they have understood their need to repent of their own sin and accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. So why does God feel so strongly about this matter? Many Christian women who think about getting married to someone who doesnt have a place for Jesus in their lives, cant see the harm, if the man they love is morally upright. But I ended up paying a heavy price in personal loneliness, marital discord, and, worst of all, disruption to my own fellowship with God. For nearly forty years I was married to a person who made no place for God in his life, yet was a good-living person, and an upright citizen. As they say, love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener.

May I suggest a couple of basic questions to consider? Someone like this would be a pretty good catch right? Our Heavenly Father feels very strongly about His children marrying anyone who doesnt belong to Him. And we were most certainly NOT in harmony with each other; nor were we often pulling together! But you see, He gave me free will the same as He has given you. Like the children of Israel of old, I ended up spending almost forty years in the wilderness. I now realize we actually discussed very little before we married.

Not every Christian makes a fuss over Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.We could talk for hours about shared ideas and interests.Then he slipped me a note during class to ask me out to a movie. He was shy, a bit awkward, and I knew from reading the stories he wrote in a writing workshop we’d both attended that he had little confidence when it came to his appearance or appeal. I found this out two days after we set up our date, when a lecture on evolution prompted the religion discussion we hadn’t had yet.There are many possible answers of course; being in love, wanting a home of your own, wanting a family of your own, your body clock is ticking, wanting to get away from abusive parents, loneliness. Thats why the Bible says in 2 Corinthians : Do you already have someone in mind and you have been feeling uneasy because you thought that there was a verse like this somewhere but you hadnt yet got around to looking it up? And, as a mother who has wept when her own children have experienced traumas in their own marriages, I am just beginning to understand how the heart of Father God must weep when His children make wrong choices. To stay single until I was sure what the Lord wanted me to do. One road is rough, corrugated, gravelly, uphill, windy The other road is tarred, straight, (at least as far as the eye can see), wide, smooth. We didnt have Him in our marriage; I didnt want Him in our marriage. Its just that my need to feel loved by someone I could see and touch was so desperate, that I didnt take seriously Christs words about being unequally yoked together. Now that Ive repented, and got this sorted out with God, I thought, surely things will improve? We were more interested in the physical side of things, although I made sure that we didnt go all the way. Most likely he is also thinking he will change you or that your religious zeal will mellow after marriage.

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